He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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