i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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