Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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