I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
