You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
