Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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