News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
