just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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