OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize