If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
