There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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