he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
