But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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