there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
True college students do jello shots in the library
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
