i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
tell me about the fingering
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