I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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