Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
