Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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