Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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