bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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