My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
