never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
