i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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