yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
