I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
