walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
