I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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