It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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