Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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