Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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