There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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