it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
