Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize