we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
