Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
