You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Randomize
