i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
