As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
