walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
