Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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