the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
