just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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