remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
