have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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