How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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