I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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