I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
