first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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