I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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