Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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