i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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