I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
