Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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