u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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