census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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