You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
