she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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