they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
