i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
