you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
