I hate your face
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
