a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize