Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
