Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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