evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
