I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize