Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
