so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
