thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
