3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
