it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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