worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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