Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
