My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
