So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize