we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
