i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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