cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
