He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize