don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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