Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
