i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
