Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
